I wish I would have documented this pregnancy better. Sorry Baby.
If I had to describe this pregnancy in two words it would be hard and miracle. Hard, because I have never felt so alone in my life while simultaneously feeling so loved. Miracle, because prayers were answered and growing human life is a miracle in itself. I am most grateful for a healthy body that can grow babies. I don't think the hardships of pregnancy quite add up to the heartache of not being able to have babies of your own. & that's saying a lot because being pregnant is probably the hardest thing I've ever done physically, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually. I'm grateful for every ounce of it though, because I feel like I grow by leaps and bounds as a person by the time it's over, and of course I get a delicious baby out of it.
30 May 2014
I went for a run early in the morning before Tyler headed to work like I had been doing most mornings, but this time I barely made it half a mile. I started feeling dizzy and felt like I was going to throw up. I stopped and sat on the curb for a minute and then headed back. Right when I walked in the door, I started throwing up. Tyler came in the bathroom and said, "your pregnant." We had been trying but I was in denial and said it must be the flu. The whole day I felt sick. So, that afternoon Tyler convinced me to take a test. POSITIVE. We were so excited.
June was a big blur and filled with dark days (that's what I call the first and part of the second trimester when I'm really sick). It was really hard on all of us. I can't tell you one thing that happened in that month except for that I was in SURVIVAL mode.
Amongst the dark days, I do have a handful of good days and those days are treasures to me. We were invited to go to Lake Powell with my family for the Fourth of July. I didn't want to go cause I was worried about being sick the whole time but Tyler really, really wanted to. I decided that my little family needed to have some fun after the June gloom at our house. Even if I was sick the whole time, at least it would be a nice break for Jade and Tyler. On that trip, I had a few of those treasured good days. The sunshine, yummy food, games, fun, and laughter was so good for our souls. I'm so thankful for my family for making that trip possible for us. Heaven knows we needed it.
Jade came down with the flu the last two days of our trip. She started throwing up in the middle of the night and then, of course, I was throwing up. We were a big mess for a minute.
The following week after we were home was by far the hardest week of the whole pregnancy. Tyler came down with the flu and I think I had it too on top of being pregnant sick cause I literally felt like I was dying. I could barely move. Poor little Jade was worried she'd never see the light of day again.
One of the hardest parts of the pregnancy was watching how hard it was on Jade. She would start screaming and crying anytime we would pull up to our house if we had been out. Or if we had been on a walk, she would cry because we had to go in. I tried to take her to parks, have picnics, or go swimming when I felt well enough but it just didn't compare to the on-the-go, adventuring life we were living before I got pregnant.
I felt the sickness lift a little bit. I tried going for a run since I felt I was turning a corner, but it was short lived and I blacked out and threw up.
I felt the sickness lift again and started to feel even better. I started running and exercising again. Once I hit a certain point in my pregnancy, exercising really does help curb my nausea.
We had our 20 week ultrasound and decided not to find out the gender again but were so excited to see the growth of our little babe. The babe was growing and all seemed well until the tech came across an echogenic bowl. Which could be an indication of a lot of things such as Down syndrome, but he assured us it probably meant nothing. He wanted us to get a second a opinion anyway. We scheduled an appointment with a specialist for a week later and left the appointment full of fear and worry mixed with faith and confidence. We prayed and fasted with family that all would be well. We went to the appointment knowing that we could potentially be faced with some devastating news but knew we would love the baby and have a heart of gratitude no matter what. The specialist was the sweetest lady from Chicago. We loved her immediately. She eased our worries and told us that our baby was perfect and had no idea what the previous ultrasound tech saw. This, I know, was a miracle. You could see the echogenic bowl clear as day on the first ultrasound (we have the picture to prove it), but there was no trace of it that day. We left feeling so grateful for a heavenly father that hears and listens to our prayers, concerns, and desires of our hearts. The specialist shared some intriguing facts with us and let me tell you, it's a wonder and miracle anyone can grow a baby! So thankful for our amazing bodies and the gift of life!
The second trimester is when I definitely felt the most relief. I felt pretty good for my condition most days and seemed to have a pretty good amount of energy. As long as I stayed on top of eating regularly the nausea stayed at bay. I continued to exercise, though I stopped running because Jade would jump out of the stroller a couple minutes into each run. She could always find a way to wiggle out of her straps/buckle. & going before she woke up was no longer an option because the sickness would get the best of me. I relied on the Nike Training Club app, lots of squats, and jumping jacks to keep me in semi-shape.
I didn't have to take the glucose test this pregnancy because I have low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) and I was so happy about that! I was dreading having to fast because I black out and throw up if I don't eat often enough. I was so relieved when my doctor said I didn't have to take it! They just tested my blood a couple of times to make sure there were no spikes and I was good to go.
That terrible nausea came back. I kept thinking to myself, this is SO hard. We were busy, busy and going through change during the third trimester and I think it took a toll on me. We celebrated the holidays and moved into our new house. Still can't believe I survived the move at 34 weeks but sure am grateful for the nesting bug. I'm pretty sure nesting is the ONLY reason I was able to get through it and get so much done that far along in pregnancy.
I exercised up until about 34 weeks. Once we moved I spent all my energy on unpacking, organizing, and house projects.
36 WEEKS was the last time I threw up in this pregnancy. I woke up one morning around 5:30 as sick as can be, throwing up every 30 minutes to an hour. I couldn't figure out why I was so sick until I realized I had forgotten to take my zofran the night before. It let up around noon and I finally understood why they call it "morning sickness." For me, it's usually "all day sickness," but for most I guess it really does ease up in the afternoon.
38 WEEKS i had really begun to feel contractions and could sense a change in my body. I knew the baby could be coming any day.
I am so grateful to have endured another healthy pregnancy. Even though pregnancy is really hard for me, I still really enjoy it and love growing a tiny human!